I ‘m not the one to go on an evening promenade along the park. I prefer to sit and stare instead. But now, at a quarter to midnight, I am walking the streets.
I see a glow the moon doesn’t always have. I see a far-reaching three-dimensional halo that pervades the skies and reaches just up till where I stand. She is blushing silver. And she can’t stop. Is it just me that can see it, can you too? Maybe we share a connection, the moon and I. Can she see me and a halo around me that I can’t see?
If I were on the moon, I’d glow silver too; I’d be a fairy – I think. I’d perhaps see the curve of the earth, not just the flat labyrinthine designs that I see from a plane. No curve can be sexier than of the Earth, I think. If I were on the moon, If only.
But I am not. I’m far away. I’m in Hyderabad a geographical expanse fenced out from the surrounding by someone, doing a job created by someone who’s doing a job for someone else, all this to earn brown paper rectangles that every someone I know tells me, are valuable, walking the pathways laid out by someone, but looking up at something that’s a mystery to them all, something’s so oddly real, it’s incredible. I am looking up at the one thing that I see purely as what it is, not what I’ve been told it is. I see the starless sky and a silver orb blushing to me, letting me know I’m as pretty. And it feels so real.
I am just a speck in a faraway sapphire orb or even less. I am a small dot that’s tough to spot on a ball overflowing with them. Are we dots someone’s play toy? Maybe someone outside’s watching me and he cares. Or maybe we’re characters in his board game and we’re being played. I would never know. It makes me want to sing in a whisper, in a hollow voice that’d echo in space
Hello hello hello,
is there anybody in there
Just nod if you can hear me,
Is there anyone home
All my life I’ve sought perspectives. Tonight, I want none. I want to lacerate all man-made perspectives, and that feeling of complacence. I want to devastate the opinionated borders erected and crash past the horizons humanity has created. When I slash it all, what remains but the blackness? Don’t give me your binoculars, don’t point out to a direction. Tonight I want to see the pristine, wherever my eyes can take me. I want to see into the beyond, into the silence, where there’s no bias, where it is infinite. All I want is to feel the infinity and a belongingness to it.
I feel so small, so insignificant. I feel like it’s all perhaps a dream. But it’s a dream that’s perfect despite my insignificance cause it’s not as bad as you think. The moon blushes to me when you are asleep. It’s a silver so divine, one you’d never see.
“Whoever you are, go out into the evening, leaving your room, of which you know every bit; your house is the last before the infinite, whoever you are.”