As I See It

Month: June, 2014

September 11, 2011

“You stride into the day with fiery drive, swelter it through long distances and as you droop your way home, I await you quietly with diamond-studded blue velvet to tuck you in, precious. I kiss the heat away and drape you with a soothing warmth that’d ward off the chill. I whisper a lullaby but the wind floats away with it, leaving a tingly hum lingering still, all along its way home. I kiss your closed eyes and watch you from a distance. I hide before you rise, for my love for you, you should never know about, lest the beauty be lost. This veiled love is so certain, stubborn, I couldn’t leave if I tried. But you and I can together never be; for you’re the Sun and I’m the Moon and this love is hidden in the blackness of the night you’ll never see.” I say it aloud, but Andre cannot hear me. Every time I say anything to him, somewhere deep inside me, something beats hard hoping rationale would fail the world for a second and my words would reach him, caress him. But logic always beats the crap out of everything else. Today he’s sound asleep; and the impossibility doubles. I wonder if impossibility has magnitude but immediately drive out the useless thought. I watch him sleep; his breath is soft, his hair, messy just like I remember it. He looks peaceful, like’s he’s smiling at something far away. Is he dreaming about me? I’d never know. Either way, he looks gorgeous. I could watch him forever, but I look at him one last time and I glide away softly, thinking to myself – Andre’d never know that my nights have been no different than the ones before that day that arrived too soon for many, much before its time. Thinking this, I vanish… out of the room… into someplace far away beyond space and time…into the abstract.


Catching up with time 2

I contain within:
a lusting desire abound
to monsterously consume, down
every syllable, nuance and detail,
in the wide world's tale,
till I'm replete, surfeit
when I can't but inhale an
inspiration to crush, subdue
and make area at the fore
for more.
There's much I know naught about.
Do I possess time tho'?
I could create a bottle, I'm told.
But what when the evanescing daylight
takes over the psyche
and the desire darkens 
as the sun sets?
Do I deny my eye lids their download
sole time of union,
when I see a want so amorous?
I give up my desire for another. 
The curtains close;
caressing me into oblivion
and the eye lids into a conjugation .
Till the night rests: new light sears 
the soothing solace of the darkness;
my shut eyes see the blood from the burn-
a vainglorious vermillion.
My desire arises from the sopor,
and I, likewise: groggy and rueful. 
The hour is lost, and irrevokable;
the spirit droops, a wee bit.


Those are called moments:

when an emotion befalls you
not a care that you look for none,

when the feeling conquers your within
fills you whole
the balloon-like voids,
flits into the invisible pores
and the constricted straits
till it douses, chokes your brain,
when it commands your aspect:
curls your lips, waters your eyes
or not
though you intend not, even a twitch;
directs your mind and invades you-
by an imperialism of a different kind,

when you feel it so intense
You grope for words-
words you know exist
you know as familiar
those that turn disloyal then
and find you blind to,

And when as fiery as the emotion itself
is the realization of an inability
to elucidate it for another,
recreate it in words
and vivify it to equivalence.

For those are called moments
that are souvenirs of humanity
that cannot in any case be crafted.

a poetic take on the nature of emotion

I have come to understand,
To love
is an experience so unsettling.
The mind begs to rest,
to float placidly, mindlessly,
to revel in the surrounding tranquil.
But it is an ask gravely futile.
For contained within is a blizzard;
whirlwind circling maniacally,
a storm so mighty, thunderous
it threatens to irrupt.
Every wave rises up fiercely,
pounces wild into another formidable,
in an embrace of illogical ebullience.
Together they come down crashing,
before the rise that follows.
And in all, engendering Energy that prevails
any plausible or existent force.

To love,
Is an experience so inebriated,
So unsettling.

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