new year fears II
after too many fearful evenings spent under lone orange lamps, i learned: tomorrow comes anyway. there is pain of the skin and not of the skin. but our skin is more tender than we are vulnerable. that night on the terrace she showed me invisble pain in red bruises to prove to me her ache i saw pain of a lover for the first time. somedays we plead to walls 'cause they are hearing, 'cause we give more words than we collect these days. i learned early: pillows absorb more than people. at least we have books to calm our frights, tell us others too closet fears beneath insta-smiles and cheery banter. if only on the sidewalk i could see your ache in a nod, would I be less lonely or more afraid? maybe we smile when our eyes meet 'cause atheists too need hope at bedtime. this year i must remember: to give is truly to listen in silence. we are not coping victims, we are here to build, laugh, cry, fight new experiences. maybe today is just about having today.