new year fears II

by ashwinia


after too many fearful evenings spent
under lone orange lamps, i learned: 
tomorrow comes anyway. 
there is pain of the skin and not 
of the skin. but our skin is more 
tender than we are vulnerable. that night 
on the terrace she showed me invisble pain 
in red bruises to prove to me her ache 
i saw pain of a lover for the first time. 
somedays we plead to walls 'cause they are 
hearing, 'cause we give more words than we collect 
these days. i learned early: pillows absorb more 
than people. at least we have books 
to calm our frights, tell us others too closet fears
beneath insta-smiles and cheery banter.
if only on the sidewalk i could see your ache 
in a nod, would I be less lonely 
or more afraid? maybe we smile 
when our eyes meet 'cause atheists too need 
hope at bedtime. this year i must
remember: to give is truly to listen
in silence. we are not coping victims, 
we are here to build, laugh, cry, fight new
experiences. maybe today is just about having
today.
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